Intercourse is prohibited during the following:
- During menstruation
– During the post-natal bleeding called Nifas after giving birth (seen both 10 & 40 days, so please verify with scholar),
– During daytime (while fasting) in the Month of Ramdhan
– When a person is in Irhaam during the pilgrimage to Mecca
Islam has forbidden sexual intercourse during menstruation. Holy Qur’an says: They ask you about menstruation. Say: “Menstruation is a discomfort (for women). Do not establish sexual relations with them during the menses and do not approach them (sexually) until the blood stops. Then when they have cleansed themselves, you go into them as Allah has commanded you.” (Surah Baqarah 2:222)
According to the Shariah, the duration of the monthly period is between three to ten days. If the bleeding was for less than three days, it is not menstruation; if it is for more than ten days, then it is menstruation for the regular number of days and istehadha for the rest of the bleeding during which sex is permitted.
The prohibition of sex during the periods is limited strictly to sexual intercourse; other intimate contact (with the exception of the vagina and anus) is allowed. However, it is better not to play with her body between the navel and the knees. If a person who is engaged in sexual intercourse with his wife discovers that her period has begun, then he should immediately withdraw from her.
It is clear from the verse mentioned above (until the blood stops) that once the blood has stopped, intercourse becomes lawful even if the woman has not performed the major ritual ablution (Ghusl). But mujtahids say that it is better to refrain from intercourse till she performs the Ghusl or, at least, washes her private parts.
CARESSING ONE’S WIFE EVEN WHILE MENSTRUATION Prophetic Hadiths: The Prophet (pbuh) said concerning the woman, who is in her menstrual period, “Do what you want except sexual intercourse. [Reported by the five most authentic narrators except Al–Bukhari] When the Prophet (pbuh) wants to do something with one of his wives during her menstrual period, he covers her vagina and does what he wants. [Reported by Abu Dawud]
PROHIBITED SEX Do not discuss intimate bedroom and sexual secrets with friends and acquaintances “Amongst the lowest grades of people before God on the day of judgement, is the man going to his wife (and making sex) and she going to him: then either of them divulging their common secret.” (Abu Said)
ROLE PLAYING AND FANTASY This is another area which is difficult because it covers a very wide array of things. There is certainly a difference between fantasizing you and your spouse are making love on the beach of a deserted island, and pretending to be having an adulterous affair. Since God cares about our thoughts, not just our actions, there must be a line in this that we should not cross, but where is that line? A safe way to approach this is to say its wrong to fantasize or act out anything it would be wrong to actually do. This means you must always play yourselves, not a real movie star or someone you know. It also means you must be married in the fantasy. However, we do not think this means you must limit yourself to things you might actually be able to do. If you want to pretend its several hundred years ago and you are a ship captain and a damsel saved from pirates, go for it (you got married at the nearest port). Or maybe you are husband and wife on a spaceship, exploring the bounds of the universe and the bounds of weightless sex.
AVOIDING PORNOGRAPHY Everything a couple includes in their sex life should build them up, and direct them towards each other. Sexually explicit material can easily cause unrealistic or impossible expectations, cause doubt about how we look, or make us feel inadequate. Obviously these things are destructive, and any material that causes such feelings should be excluded. Allah is concerned with our hearts, not just our actions. If what we read or view causes us to desire or fantasize about haram sexual activities, then we have wronged in our hearts. Finally we are told that there are things which are not sinful, but are also not profitable. We must decide if there is any good to come from something, and weigh that against any bad that could come from it.
What is attractive about affairs and lessons and how you can apply in lawful way in your marriage
Affairs are erotic because they are forbbidden. This why the minute people leave thier spouses for their lovers their things go horribly wrong. The Sexcual charge disapperas after first trip to Ikea,
Affairs that turn into marriages are high rich of low to no sex-marriages
affairs are a turn on is that they have sense of adventure. You anticipate and plan sexual encoutners
These are strategies you can steal to recreate affair with your spouse.
Affairs teach you value of anticipation and reflection.
you grab sex when you can so either looking forward to it or refelcting on it
People who sin, eg with prostitiue immediately after ejaculation followed by guilt and negative feelings
Woman first night, exercises to strethc hymen can decrease pain. woman on top better and more control
anxiety, curiosity and anticipation lead to pain or pleassure. dont put too much pressure on first night
Sex is fun give it priority and time. to have good sex you have to take risks
Add pillows, do it when you usually dont, do it somewhere new