This is a review of the book, “Not Tonight Dear I Feel Fat: How to Stop Worrying About Your Body and Have Great Sex” by Michael Alvear. Although it is targeted for women it’s content is still a great read for men also.
The author covers how the media basically makes you feel bad about your body and through it makes you want and need, everything from cosmetics, diets, fashion, boob-jobs, whatever.
But, this book is not just about body image. It is one of the best sex books we have read. It has great tips and suggestions of how to get your mojo/libido back.
- An awesome quote, the hottest thing you can ever say to a guy “I’m coming”. There are great examples of sexy talk, from pre-sex (I want to kiss every inch of you) to foreplay (I love it when you do that), Sex (You taste so good could do this forever) to Post-sex (That was amazing).
- How to get into a sexy mood, with sexy cues including with your spouse watching romantic movies, talking dirty, showering together etc.
- Lastly, turn your bedroom into a sensuous lair, including
- Paying attention to lighting (soft and low wattage)
- Use candles (universal language of romance, especially red and white ones)
- Pay attention to the bedspread (go with muted colors, think romantic oasis, not flashy nightclub)
- Wood floors (put a rug on it), windows and walls
- Use a 3-fold layered window treatment to block out the light, eg sheer curtain over wooden blinds, fabric makes things softer.
- Pillows, don’t over-pillow.
- Bed linens, ideal go with cotton 450-1000 thread count and keep as plain as possible. Add several drops of your favorite aromatherapy oil to softner section of washer, or spray it on a washcloth and put in dryer, or in a spray bottle and spray on sheets.
- For the bed add a romantic canopy over it even if you don’t have a 4 poster bed. Pay attention to sound, by having the entire stereo inc speakers (or iPhone etc) with your favorite playlist.
- Things to avoid include photos of your family, pets, clutter, exercise equipment, TV. Bedroom Do’s include an aquarium, tabletop fountain or waterfall, upholstered bench.