Even in the best of marriages, our relationships wane over time. The following are some notes we took from “Sex the whole picture” a book by Nicole Beland and “Real Sex for Real Women” which although addressed to women is equally rich in content for men.
If you are visual and don’t like to read we’ve included lots of visuals to give you ideas that you can practice or try out with your spouse. As with the whole website, we are encouraging healthy sex, so you both have a “Lust for life” and that you continue to explore (Sexploration) and reinvent your marriage and sex life every so often (Sex reinvented)
Your partners sex drive will not be the same as yours. It is rare to find a couple who have the exact libido and sexual interest. You can still have a good sex life even with mismatched libidos. Here are some great ideas you can do to extend foreplay as well as things to do when you cannot have intercourse.
- Take time each week to connect with your partner on an intimate non-sexual level
eg cuddling, talking, interacting
- Start first few kisses or a romantic encounter are like the opening credits of a movie.
they set the tone for everything to come
- For a great kiss see the reaction of your spouse, does she, he want it gentle or passion with fire.
Pretend at the moment your mouth is the center of the universe.
Collarbone, neck, inside of wrists, knees spine, lower back inner thighs are sensitive and yield great pleasure. kiss them from head to toe. body kissing.
- The best sexual encounters tend to begin with a slow kiss and slowly warm up.
A lengthy sexual encounter is like a gourmet meal. its not just about satisfying your hunger its about enjoying every single delicious mouthful.
- Pause and take a look into your partners eyes. Kiss them carefully, stroke her hair and compliment them, telling how you feel.
- Hold hands during sex its intimate
- Quickie, Fast and frantic sex is energizing. about once a week, have a quickie in the shower in the morning before work
- Quickie isn’t about perfection
- We are not sex gurus. In any area of life no one is going to master everything, including sex. Get good at one thing and you can improvise the rest. Master one naughty move
- Follow the principle of reciprocity in sex
- Treat sex like a movie with great sequels. You can only watch the same movie so many times. But if the sequel rocks, the story stays alive
- Location, Location, Location: Besides the bedroom, Make love under the dining room table, Sex on the sofa, if you have privacy in the backyard.
- tease each other, eg flash him, her
- Some adages to live by,
Live in the present, Love your body, Put yourself first, Grow with your partner, Embrace your sexuality
- Maintain intimacy, exercise together, reduce stress
- Think of sex as a gourmet meal, you want to savor every bite. The purpose isn’t just to fill up quickly with any food, if that were case we would just eat porridge.
Here is a pdf with ideas for Married Sex and Lust for life
And here are some visuals to give you ideas.